Anthony and the Ghost of Mrs Bittercrapper
by SteveGon
Summary: Silly story I wrote for my (ex-) stepsons who still like to hang out with me!


"Time for bed, guys!" said Steve, "And for me too! I'm beat!"

Seven year old Anthony and his nine year old brother Ashton grumbled and groused. "But we're not sleepy!" they cried. Steve was their cool ex-stepdad who didn't spoil them one bit. The boys were staying the night at his house.

"I'm really not sleepy at all." said Ashton as he looked out the bedroom window to see if his girlfriend Shannon was outside. Shannon and her family lived behind Steve which was one reason Ashton like visiting so much!

"Me either," added Anthony, "I want to stay up all night and play Angry Birds on the computer!"

Steve shook his head. "You need to give the computer a rest." he said as he pulled the curtain shut, blocking Ashton's view.

"She's not out there, anyway," said Ashton sadly, "I guess I put on all that cologne for nothing."

Anthony pinched his nose shut with his fingers. "Don't worry, Ashton," he said, "I'm sure she can smell you from her house!"

Ashton frowned and threw a slobbery dog toy at Anthony. "Smell that!" he said, "Smell that beagle slobber!"

Ashton grabbed a pillow and lay down next to Steve's beagle Sarah. The second his head hit the pillow he was snoring. Anthony was on the end of the bed giving Steve's other beagle Ramsay a belly rub. "Ramsay sure does like belly rubs!" said Anthony, "Watch me make his leg shake!"

"Quit procrastinating and go to sleep!" said Steve, "If you don't, I'll make you do poop patrol tomorrow!"

"I'm not potastanating!" protested Anthony, "I'm just rubbing Ramsay's tummy!"

Steve's eyes lit up with a devilish fire. "Anthony, if you don't go to sleep you'll probably see the ghost of Mrs. Bittercrapper!"

Anthony's eyes got big. Really big. Ramsay yawned and fell fast asleep. He didn't care about ghosts because they didn't rub his belly or give him treats.

"Who's Mrs. Bittercrapper?" asked Anthony.

Steve leaned forward and poked Anthony with a finger. "She's the old lady who used to live in this house," he whispered, "She died a long time ago."

Anthony looked around. "And now she's a ghost?" he asked.

"Yeah," replied Steve, "And she haunts this house."

Anthony thought for a minute and then smiled. "You're just joking with me!" he said.

"Not at all!" answered Steve, "Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and there she is, standing at the end of the bed."

Anthony looked down at the end of the bed, just inches away from where he was sitting. "Does she say anything?" he asked. He was starting to get worried.

Steve turned out the light and his bedroom went dark. "Yeah," he said in a scary voice, "She says 'Get out of my bed!' Now go to sleep or she'll say it to you!"

An hour later Steve and Ashton were snoring away. Sarah was twitching and yelping in her sleep, no doubt chasing dream rabbits. Ramsay was asleep and licking his jowls, probably dreaming of fried chicken and pizza. Those were his two favorite foods. Anthony was still awake. He kept thinking about the ghost of Mrs. Bittercrapper.

Anthony sat up in bed. He just couldn't sleep. Steve's story had scared him. Plus he was hungry. More hungry than scared actually. He thought of the strawberries in Steve's refrigerator. He wanted to eat them all. Then he heard something.

"Get out of my bed." said someone in a hollow, raspy voice.

Anthony looked towards the end of the bed. A pale shape was taking form there. Was it was the ghost of Mrs. Bittercrapper? Anthony closed his eyes, hoping it was just his imagination.

Anthony opened his eyes and looked again. Steve was right! He could definitely see a ghostly shape floating at the end of the bed.

The misty apparition took the form of an old lady. Even when she was fully formed Anthony could see through her like she was made of fog. "Get out of my bed!" she moaned, "I'm Mrs. Bittercrapper and I don't like strangers in my bed!"

Sarah's head perked up. She growled once at the ghost of Mrs. Bittercrapper and promptly went back to sleep. She wasn't afraid of ghosts. But Anthony was. He picked up the slobbery dog toy and threw it at the ghost. The toy went right through her and bounced off the wall!

The ghost of Mrs. Bittercrapper floated closer. "Get out of my bed!" she hissed, shaking her finger at Anthony.

Anthony turned his head so he wouldn't see the ghost. "It's not your bed anymore you stupid old ghost!" He picked up a pillow to hide behind. After a few seconds Anthony peered over the top of the pillow. The ghost of Mrs. Bittercrapper was gone!

Anthony sighed in relief. He was glad the ghost had disappeared because he had to pee really bad. He got out of bed and went to the bathroom. He opened the door and there she was! The ghost of Mrs. Bittercrapper was sitting on the toilet!

"Can't a ghost powder her nose in peace?" she asked in her ghostly voice.

"Sorry!" said Anthony as he squeezed his legs together, "But I really have to go!"

Mrs. Bittercrapper rolled her shadowy eyes. "That's because you drank too much juice!" she said as she faded away. Then she popped back into existence. "And don't forget to flush!" she scolded, "No one likes a stinky bathroom!"

Anthony felt much better. He'd peed for at least a minute. Probably a world record pee. He really had to stop drinking so much juice before bedtime! Then his stomach rumbled. It'd been almost an hour since he'd last eaten.

Anthony thought again of the strawberries in Steve's refrigerator. He also thought of the Cheetos in Steve's cupboard. Strawberries and Cheetos were a good combination!

Of course, in his excitement Anthony forgot to flush!

As Anthony walked down the hallway towards the kitchen he saw a light in the living room. Steve must have left his computer on. Cool! He could play Angry Birds without Ashton around. Ashton always hogged the computer! Anthony walked into the living room and his jaw dropped. The ghost of Mrs. Bittercrapper was using the computer!

"What are you doing?" asked Anthony as the ghost of Mrs. Bittercrapper pecked away at the keyboard.

"I'm looking up chains on GhostBay," she replied, "If I had chains to rattle I'd be more scary!"

Anthony laughed. He wasn't scared of the ghost of Mrs. Bittercrapper anymore. "Move it or lose it, granny ghost!" he said, "It's time for Angry Birds!"

Mrs. Bittercrapper frowned and faded away once again. What was the world coming to when you couldn't scare a little boy? Then she had an idea.

Anthony's stomach was rumbling. He'd been so busy playing Angry Birds that he'd forgotten to eat. He wasn't sure how that had happened! He hit the pause button and Red Bird froze in the middle of the screen. Anthony's stomach growled again. He had to get something to eat!

Anthony walked into the kitchen and gaped in astonishment. The ghost of Mrs. Bittercrapper was back! She was leaning over the stove with a tray in her transparent hands.

"Why did you come back?" asked Anthony, "You know I'm not scared of you anymore. It's not like you're a zombie!"

Mrs. Bittercrapper opened the oven door. "I thought you might like some freshly-baked cookies." she said with a grandmotherly smile.

"What kind of cookies are they?" asked Anthony. Not that Anthony cared. He would eat just about any kind of cookie.

"My specialty," replied Mrs. Bittercrapper. "Crispy bacon cookies! I won an award for them from Old Folks Magazine. Old people just love their crispy bacon!"

Meanwhile Ashton was having the most awesome dream ever. He and Shannon were riding the Beast at King's Island. When they got off the rollercoaster they found themselves surrounded by zombies! "Brains!" moaned the zombies, "Brains!"

"Ashton!" cried Shannon, "What are we going to do?"

Ashton threw Shannon one of his guns. "Let's kick zombie butt!" he shouted. Then he woke up. Crap! Just when the dream was getting good!

Then Ashton noticed a light coming from the other end of the house. Anthony was gone too. He was probably playing Angry Birds on the computer. Anthony was in trouble now. Steve might even yell at him!

Ashton walked into the living room. Steve's computer was on but Anthony wasn't there. Ashton rubbed the sleep from his eyes and looked again. Anthony had definitely been there because Angry Birds was on. The game was paused.

Ashton walked over to the computer and hit the pause button. Red Bird continued his flight, crashing into a tower of blocks and scattering them everywhere. Ashton hit the pause button again and giggled as the blocks hung in mid-air.

Voices were coming from the kitchen. It was Anthony and he was talking to someone. But who? Steve and the dogs were fast asleep. Steve's brother Ruben also lived in the house but he was at work. So who was Anthony talking to?

Ashton rounded the corner to the kitchen and stopped. He couldn't believe his eyes! Anthony was sitting at the kitchen table eating cookies with an old lady! It wasn't Steve's mom who lived in the house next door. No, he'd never seen this old lady before.

"Anthony, who's the old lady?" he asked nervously.

Anthony swallowed a cookie. He would have taken a sip of milk but Steve didn't keep milk in his house because he hated it. Steve said milk tasted like "chalk water."

"Oh, it's just the ghost of Mrs. Bittercrapper," Anthony said, "She lived here before she died."

Ashton gulped. "What do you mean?" he asked as his knees started to shake.

Anthony bit into another cookie and smiled. "Dude, she's a ghost."

Mrs. Bittercrapper looked at Ashton and gave him her best ghostly smile. "Hello Ashton, want a cookie?"

Ashton screamed and backed away. "Don't eat my brains!" he cried. Ashton was getting his monsters mixed up!

Mrs. Bittercrapper floated over to him and held out a cookie. "Won't you try one?" she asked, "They're my famous crispy bacon cookies!"

Ashton fainted dead away, flopping into the water dish that Steve put out for Ramsay and Sarah. He was out cold and soaked through with gross dog water! Anthony and the ghost of Mrs. Bittercrapper made faces. "Yuck! Dog water!" they said together.

"Now he'll never get a date with Shannon!" laughed Anthony.

"Don't be silly!" said the ghost of Mrs. Bittercrapper, "They're both too young to date!"

"Oh well," said Anthony with a shrug, "Pass the cookies, please."

The ghost of Mrs. Bittercrapper smiled. She wasn't lonely anymore or angry that people were living in her house. She pushed the plate of cookies towards her new friend. Man, that little boy could eat! There wouldn't be any left for his brother when he woke up. Maybe she should make another batch?

"Hey! Who forgot to flush?" hollered Steve from the other end of the house, "And why do I smell bacon and cookies?"

The End.


End file.
